Skimpy skirts and eternal life

On the eve of the biggest holiday in Chantara's year, Black Friday, I was reminded of a shopping mystery. I recently did some holiday shopping of my own (and by "holiday", I mean shopping for myself, but doing around the holidays) and purchased a few items at Forever 21.

For those of you who don't know, Forever 21 is a miracle on earth. Its a store that is jam packed with so much merchandise that you cannot go in without 1) spending at least an hour combing through the merchandise and 2) buying at least 4 things (which will cost you around $30.) The clothes are super trendy and not well made, but even a girl of my advancing age and preppy tastes can find something there. So can club kids, budding fashionistas, pre-teen Carrie Bradshaw wannabes, and many, many more.

Today, as I was folding up the bag to reuse on another occasion (big ups to recycling!), I was reminded of a mystery that I never have solved. On the bottom of the signature Forever 21 plastic shopping bag, there is a little bit of text that if you didn't know any better is an imprint of the color of the ink used, or the batch number for the printing of the bag. But, no...for most they will recognize the ink on the bottom of that trendy, sometimes slutty clothing store bag to be - a Bible verse. And not just any Bible verse, John 3:16, the "Gospel in a nutshell":

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever
shall believe in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

I didn't even need to look it up, because I recited it dozens and dozens of time at Sunday School growing up. So the question I'm sure you're asking yourself right now is the same as I had. "Why is that there?"

Is Forever 21 owned by an evangelical Christian, much like Jessica Simpson's dad, who just wants to bring small clothing to the world? Logically, it seems that if someone was devoted enough to print that on millions of bags that little teeny-boppers (and some budding professionals) will be carrying around, that that same person probably wouldn't approve of half of the clothes that his own store is selling.

Well, thanks to the internet, we have an answer, from the New York Sun's article entitled "Evangelism in Fashion." Like usual, their author addressed the issue first and with much more literary flair than I.

P.S. In-n-Out Burger does it too...

Obama: Heaven Sent?

Its hard to discuss something these days that does not involve the election of Barack Obama as the next President of the United States. One of the first questions I thought of after last week's historic election was - was Obama a gift from God? Its not out of the realm of normalcy to ask that question. After all, many conservative Christians believed that George W. was selected by God. In fact, W himself thought so.

I had a debate with someone several months back about how the Obama campaign was trying to portray Obama as the Messiah (a.k.a. Jesus). My argument was that I highly doubt the campaign was intentionally doing it. If any comparisons to Jesus were made, they were only because Jesus himself is an amalgam of common themes of revolution, change, and redemption.

Call me crazy, but I can see how some people believe Obama is ordained by God to lead our country. I can't believe I'm saying that, because when people said that about W, I thought they were nutso. After all, what else could explain the financial meltdown that so greatly contributed to his landslide victory, if not God's intervention? ***Editors note: (Iif you really want to know what caused the U.S./world financial crisis, This American Life did a great episode entitled "The Giant Pool of Money" that explains it.)***

A look at what Obama's targeting for his first few weeks in office certainly seem divine. He's already planning on closing Guantanamo Bay, where many have been wrongfully imprisoned for years without any sort of Constitutional (and arguably any civil) rights, and giving those detainees fair trials within the U.S. It's also speculated that he will immediately reverse some of W's executive orders that allow oil drilling in the national parks.

I think rather than him being sent from God, its probably more likely that he's just a good follower of God. Someone who knows how to truly mesh his faith with his job. Not just someone who *says* he does.

God wants you to vote

So few things in life am I as passionate about as voting. So I am going to use this arena to stump for a second... but not for any particular candidate (although I am very HOPEful for some change...).

I want everyone reading this to go out and vote.

If you believe in religion or science... if you believe in community or money... if you believe in elephants or donkeys or green things (i have no idea what their mascot is.... a leaf?)... if you believe in the future or the past... if you simply believe... YOU MUST GET OUT TODAY AND VOTE!

And to put this into religious terms... it is a moral duty to vote. Take pride in what God has given us and take responsibility for it.

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! (got it? now stop reading and go vote!)

Halloween: the Forgotten Religious Holiday

I love Halloween, as does Ginger. Costumes, candy, trick or treating... there is NOTHING bad about this holiday. Of course, growing up, Halloween was not a welcome holiday in my parents' household.

There were many years where my mom decided that trick or treating and getting dressed up was not in accordance with Islam. I was allowed to get dressed up to go to school, but once I got home the costume had to come off and I was stuck watching bad Halloween specials on tv (they never showed "Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" ON Halloween when I was a kid). Of course, there were several years where my parents would head out for some event or another on Halloween (not holiday related) and us kids would sneak out with our pillow cases to be filled with candy.

This was always backed up at Sunday school by our teachers who would caution us against going trick or treating and celebrating Halloween because it was against our religion. While Halloween may have started as a pagan holiday, it has long lost that meaning. I mean, do we really think that ancient pagans intended me to get recycled peanut butter kisses when I went out trick or treating? While those peanut butter kisses may have been produced during the time of the pagans (does ANYONE actually like those things?), they were not intended to be forced upon children generation after generation after generation.

Maybe we need to bring Halloween back to its roots and find some pagans to teach us how. Of course then my mom would be completely justified in ruining my dreams of candy filled pillow cases....

Music to the Soul

So I had a similar instance of divine intervention as our friend Yusuf's. Admittedly, it may not have been quite as cool, but it was still something. So I will admit to everyone out there, I watch the CW. I probably watch it more than someone in their late 20's should. Well, as of late they have had these commercials that just list the names of shows and what time they are on... nothing fancy, nothing special. Except for the music.

Anyone who has known me since my pre-law school days will know that in my natural state I am somewhat of an audiophile... okay I am completely an audiophile. (Law school has seriously dampened my obsession, but it still lingers in the background.) So when I hear a song that catches in my head, I HAVE to have it. This CW commercial played music in the background... simple music, no words. It was incredibly catchy, even in its 15 seconds of play. Talking to my fiance (who is a great enabler of my music addiction), I could not even recreate what the music sounded like because the instruments were so unique. It was driving me crazy. I kept running searches on Google and other search engines trying to figure out what the song was.

I started to hit rock bottom. I was jonesing for the music bad, real bad. I found my prayers being tainted with pleas to God to find the song. I laid awake in bed at night, staring at the ceiling and making deals with God to figure out what the song was. It looks like the Big Guy heard my pleas and decided to indulge me.

After several weeks and searching I began to give up and concentrate on other aspects of life again, like school. While conducting a marathon research session in the law library I was listening to my new iPhone (something I think Ginger should profile as something God owns stock in), when all of a sudden I heard the faint beginnings of some music. It rang familiar in my head... the excitement began to build. But surely, I could not have owned the song all along. The music kept playing... I listened with anticipation... and there it was, the familiar guitar chord repeating. It took all the energy I had not to get up and start laughing like a maniac at the miracle I was experiencing. Apparently, I had downloaded the song (which was Great DJ by the Ting Tings) from iTunes on one of their free Tuesday downloads and just had never really listened to it (come on, I have like 4,000 songs on my phone). I said a small thankful prayer to God and ran to share the news with Ginger, who was not as impressed, but nonetheless it was my miracle from God.

Which leads me to another point I am going to touch on quickly, since it probably deserves its own post. Super religious people who don't believe music is kosher/halal/down with God. There are plenty of extremist Muslims who say that music is against the religion. I would imagine that there are similar folks in other religions as well. Now I understand the concept that things that take you away from God are not good things... but seriously, I do not think listening to Death Cab for Cutie makes me a bad Muslim. If I listened to the Jonas Brothers, that probably would, but I am safe on that point. Music is a good way to unite people and bring them together. It is not something that needs to be rallied against. The Mullahs who outlaw western music in the Middle East are sorely going about it the wrong way... but outlawing it, they are making people want it more. If they would just hand out free Rihanna albums, no one would want to listen to her anymore. Maybe that is the secret to getting rid of the Jonas Brothers....

Religulous and the Quality Threesome

So I was the lucky guy who got to take Ginger and Eli to Religulous last night. Two important qualifications to that statement: 1. When I take a girl to a movie, she still pays. What else can you expect from a feminist Jew? 2. Quality threesome? You decide.

Religulous is funny. The problem with religulous is that it tries to have a point. Bill Maher going around arguing with Biblical Literalists provides for funny moments and an interesting, if not narrow, expose on fundamentalism.

But then Religulous tries to have a point. It has three points. Two of them are good, but then the bad point eats the good points and then the movie ends.

First the good points. The first good point of the movie is that it sucks that atheists are marginalized. Maher points out that about 16% of Americans identify themselves as atheist, but that this demographic has no political sway while much smaller demographics, Jews, blacks, unions, etc., have tons of sway. The analogy between ethnic minorities and atheists as a interest group isn't a great one, but, still, the point is well taken. Atheist-phobia, like some other phobias, is just another narrow-minded, squeamish intolerance.

The second good point is that people should be humble when attempting to answer life's difficult questions. Does God exist? What happens when we die? Is there a destiny heading towards Armageddon? The answers to these questions should be 'humility' and little more. If people realized that faith was based on their personal intuitions, not on some capital t-Truth, people might be less willing to die and kill over religious matters.

The problem is with Maher's third point: religion really sucks. In fact, religion will cause the end of the world. Religulous, after being pleasant for like 90 minutes, degrades into a Clock Orange style say 'religion' over and over again while showing disturbing images, namely mushroom clouds, to convince the audience that religion is bad.

This bad point swallows the good points for a couple reasons. First, while it may convince some atheists to come out of the closet by being so outspoken, Maher more than anything makes atheists look like people who hate religion. Making 'intolerance' intrinsic to atheism makes atheism seem like bad news bears. Plus, as pointed out by Ginger, by labeling religious progressives as enablers of religious fundamentalists, Maher leaves no room for a viable religious left. It can't be good for spreading peace, tolerance, etc if fundamentalists necessarily have a monopoly over religion.

Maher's general distaste for religion also jacks his point about humility. Maher states astutely that people should answer the big questions with humility. The problem is that Maher, when dialoguing with various people throughout the movie, doesn't ask what people think happens after death, etc. He instead focuses on the silliest parts of the Bible, the talking snake in the Garden of Eden, Jonah and the whale. Of course, Biblical Literalists can't say that Jonah didn't get eaten by the whale and then stupidly go on about miracles and whatever. So Maher's questions do provide a good attack on fundamentalist literalism. But, honestly, how many people's religious identities center around Jonah getting swallowed by a whale? Maher sets up straw men and dodges taking an intimate look at the way people actually grapple with difficult questions.

Also, for God's sake, it is not humble for Maher to declare that religion should die while showing nuclear bombs going off in the background. Militant atheism can be pretty dangerous too (see Mao, Stalin, et al). At the end of the day, religious people and atheists shouldn't be dicks.

That pretty much counts out Bill Maher.

Movie Review: Religulous

***Editor's Note: POF took a field trip last night to see Religulous at our local theatre with the intent to blog about our thoughts. I am the first, but stay tuned for reactions of the other Porkers. ***

The only thing I had seen about Religulous prior to seeing the actual film last night was the movie poster, which had a picture of Bill Maher on a piece of toast, a la the many sightings of Jesus and Mary on various everyday items. (Click here to see a story about the Virgin Mary under a Chicago overpass.) I like Bill Maher, and he mostly pleased with this candid and hilarious film that was mostly about asking questions.

As you might be able to tell by now, this blog is exactly about this sort of thing - challenging the ridiculous parts of religion that usually tend to cloud the real stuff. The "real stuff" being a connection with the universe and each other. Maher is unabashed about his questions, and even more so about calling people out when their answers are laughably absurd (like believing in a "talking snake".)

Maher is very well researched to provide quick comebacks to some of the typical answers that people give to justify these beliefs. In particular, it was interesting to me to hear about the striking parallels between the characteristics of Jesus and those of the Egyptian god Horus. I think very few people could doubt the contradictions that Maher points out about religion, including a senior Vatican priest.

What Maher doesn't focus on is the benefit to faith. I think this is OK, since his movie is likely intended to shock people out of their heretical belief systems. Early in the movie, he points out that people intend for religion to do such good things, but it always ends up with people doing really bad things for their religion or in the name of their religion or because of their religion. This point comes to fruition in then ending, which blames religion for war, global warming, and every other imaginable evil in the world. Although a bit sudden and underdeveloped, this ending does cause the viewer to think about what the unintended consequences of their beliefs might be.

What was particularly unsettling for me was Maher's contention that even conscious, moderate religious followers are contributing to a system which ultimately is causing fundamentalism and thus the bad consequences described above. My instant reaction was to disagree. Why should it matter that I take communion on Sunday and pray to a God that is clearly made up from thousands of years of mythology, if I'm not hating others for their religious beliefs, or lack thereof? But, the reason this is so unsettling is that I see he has a point.

No matter how offended you get by the movie (I thought it was offensive in a hilariously irreverent way, but that's just my opinion), you have to appreciate it for the questions that it asks, and the ultimate theory that it concludes. Maher is just a guy who is trying to understand this whole religious thing and ultimately I think he is trying to make the world a better place by doing so. (Tell THAT to the people he interviewed...something tells me they won't believe it!)

Is it sunset yet?

The holy month of Ramadan is just about ending. We are actually in the last ten days, which are the most holy, and call on Muslims to pray more and be more vigilant in remembering God (or Allah as is said in Arabic) than we have been in the rest of the month. So what is Ramadan? Well, its kind of like Yom Kippur, Lent, and your birthday all mixed together. Lots of Muslims look forward to Ramadan all year. They prepare. They count days. Its like waiting to turn 5 or 21. You just anticipate it with giddiness. And when it gets here how do you celebrate? Well, there sure as heck is no cake.

During the month of Ramadan, Muslims don’t eat or drink anything from sunrise to sunset. We also can’t smoke, have sex, or do any other “fun” things out there. But don’t worry… once the sun goes down all bets are off. This year the typical day of fasting in Ramadan is roughly from 5 am to 7 pm. God was especially judicious when He came up with Ramadan because it is on the lunar calendar. This means that Ramadan is at a different time of year each year. So people all over the world will at some point in their life have the joy of fasting in the middle of summer in the sweltering heat with 16 hours of daylight. (Well except for those living along the equator, but they are already lucky with living in the tropics and all) I am not really sure how Ramadan works out for folks living in Iceland who have like months of night. Hmm. So like Jews may fast for Yom Kippur and Christians may fast during Lent, we fast during Ramadan.

The whole point of the month is to remind Muslims of God’s presence in their lives and to ask Him for forgiveness. This brings us back to the last ten nights. These are said to be the most holy nights in the whole Muslim calendar. The 27th of Ramadan in particular is rumored to be the night when the Holy Qu’ran was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad. As a result, Muslims often spend the night awake, praying all night to ask for various different things such as health, forgiveness, and blessings from God. When I was 8 I stayed up for a bit and asked for a Furby; Allah, in all His mercy spared me from ever getting one.

I am often asked by my friends who are of the non-fasting variety if I get hungry. Well, duh. Of course I get hungry. That is kind of the point. Aside from fasting being a way to remember God, it is also a way to remember all the blessings you have. Like the Internet, so you can look up the exact time of sunset on http://www.time.gov/, or cable television including the weather channel so you know when sunrise and sunset are the next day. It is also 4 weeks (roughly) to decide what vices you want to keep and what vices you would rather lose. This year I am focusing on giving up school work as my vice. (I am a 3L in law school after all)

Of course, knowing if Ramadan has started or ended is a whole other debacle for my next post....

The Pope? Gay? Whaaaaat?

Tony Alamo's polygamist, pedaphilic cult thinks that:
"• Homosexuals are Satan’s tools.
• The pope is a homosexual who could be the Antichrist himself."

Who knew?

Well, at least those who oppose gay marriage/civil unions and support sodomy laws are in good company in their opinion of gay folks.

Convert Me, baby, Be Gentle

Oh God, what I would do to one of those chicks on the bible tracts you get when you're walking down the street. There's some aphorism on the front like "Would you like to know more about the bible?" and I'm all: No, but I'd like to no more about your shoulder blades, baby.

Proseltyzing disgusts me. I just want to throw those pamphlets away, but how can I throw out those hot little things on the front, with their home-knit sweaters, and fuck-me-I'm-a-virgin curiosity.

All I'm saying is: hey girl, wanna read Song of Solomon? We'll have to go back to my place for the text. I keep that shit in the tub.

Signs, signs, everywhere the signs.

Have you ever been mulling something over in your head, only to have life drop the answer right in your lap? You can call it what you want - fate, the Holy Spirit, kismet, serendipity, whatever. I've definitely had this happen before, and the most notable of these instances come in the context of life saying "yep, you're on the right track." What's more difficult though, are the times when the answer is "stupid, how could you ever have thought of doing THAT!?!?"

I mean, if you're thinking about doing something, and then life drops the path to do it or some other reassurance in your lap, its a simple answer - the universe is confirming that you're in the right place at the right time. (Editor's note: if this all sounds very new age for a Christian, see my earlier post re: New Age spirituality.) But, when the answer seems to contradict what we're thinking/feeling, this is harder for us to accept. Why is that?

Is it because we're stubborn humans who refuse to believe that what we want, when we want it, is incorrect? I think what is more likely is the whole uncertainty of it all. Let me paint an example of something that recently happened, which I fully admit is trite and meaningless. But, you didn't think I was going to detail my innermost pending decisions did you?

So, in the past few weeks, there have been a couple of times that I wanted to get fast food. I try to eat as little fast food as possible, but am a horrible failure at this task. So, like many who are trying to restrain themselves, I make up excuses for why I need it or why it makes sense for me to eat fast food. Nevertheless, in both situations as I had just talked myself into doing it, I had critical failures that prevented me for doing so - in one instance I forgot my wallet; in the other, my car wouldn't start. Not long after the second instance I decided that God was preventing me from doing what I knew I shouldn't be doing - indulging in high-calorie junk.

So, this example is obviously not very life-changing. But, it shows how easy it can be to say "this isn't a sign; it's a coincidence." In fact, when my car couldn't start, I promptly found someone to jump me so I could disobey God's command against eating fast food, and went straight to Taco Bell.

But, what do you do when a sign presents itself that is in opposition to a life decision that is greater than choosing to eat more healthfully? Do you listen? Do you ignore? How do you know the difference between a sign and a coincidence? I tend to live by the philosophy that if I'm at all hesitant about something, then I shouldn't do it. In that case, I tend to see "signs" as either a signal from God or just my mind creating a more clear excuse to prevent me from doing something that I subconsciously know I don't want to do anyway.

In any case, if I haven't confused you all by now, I welcome your thoughts! How do YOU distinguish between a sign and a coincidence?

God must own stock in: The Wave

Ok, I know no one is making a profit off of it, per say, but I'm pretty sure God owns stock in The Wave. My friend Jen says that at the University of Wisconsin, the wave not only circles the stadium twice, it then reverses, then splits and meets on the other end. I mean, the Holy Spirit is definately a part of THAT action.

What I love about the wave is that it's an individual activity that has enormous community benefit. Admit it - the excitement of when the wave gets going, the anticipation of it coming back around to you, the simple joy of waving your hands in the air and yelling a fun "woo" while doing so. They are all simple gifts from God. You can thank Him later.

Politics is their religion

I've tried (unlike Ziek) to keep politics out of my posts, but I've come to a point where I must say something. In reading recently about Sarah Palin's comments about the Iraq war being "a task from God", I became infruriated with more of what I've talked about before - people using religion to condone their (or their party's) bad actions/beliefs.

I can guarantee that God didn't want us to go to another country to kill people over oil. Or I mean, God didn't want us to kill people over spite. I mean, God didn't want us to kill people to ensure that our president would be in prime position to secure a second term in office. Well...pick you poison. I shouldn't be so critical, I guess. It's hard to remember ALL of the ten commandments when trying so hard to use religion for political gain.

Now, don't get me wrong. I think politicians who are religious should certainly not hide that fact and are correct to consult God while living thier lives, which includes running a government or campaigning for office. But, what too frequently happens is that these people will do a great job of talking the talking, but completely forget to walk the walk.

I even suspect that this one of the main reasons that Republicans have so heinously tried to appropriate religion as their own domain. The national platform of the GOP has time after time proven that it is incapable of actually walking the walk.

What Would Jesus Do? Well, I don't know exactly what Jesus would do in every situation, but I know this: Jesus wouldn't treat women, minorities, homosexuals unequally. Jesus wouldn't hoard his paycheck and not be willing to share it with people less fortunate. If Jesus knew the environment was dying because of his industrialism, he wouldn't turn a blind eye, hire fringe scientists to make fake reports to cover up the damage he'd done, and ignore the problem (Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson agree with me on this one.) And Jesus certainly would not start the Iraq war. Not in a million years.

So, instead, they pick one thing Jesus definately wouldn't do, and they make it seem like the most important religious and political issue of our time. They make the other side seem completely devoid of religion. They make politics more important than God by simply using God as a tool to achieve their selfish desires. Clearly this subject hits me emotionally. I welcome all thoughts and comments.

Kosha Dillz, ya'll

I love hip-hop, and if there's one thing I love more than hip-hop, it's Jewish hip-hop. Actually, I don't really like the Beastie Boys too much, except Sabotage, which rox my sox. So does the I'll-stir-fry-you-in-my-wok song. Still, in general, I think they're just white and whiny.

But I do like Kosha Dillz. I saw him a few weeks ago at the Aesop Rock show in Chicago. Dillz was playing with Yak Ballz, also Jewish, judging from his hair/swagger (here's a clip of Yak and Dillz at the show I saw in Chicago).

I like Dillz because he wears Judaism on his sleeve but its not his whole identity and its not his "shtick." He raps about being Jewish, his tour shirts say "All the Way! Oy Vey!" or something like that, but he raps about other stuff too, and he's not 2 Live Jews.

He's a Jew who is into being Jewish, but hasn't been around of Jews his whole life. This reflects a struggle I have with Judaism. I think its great for Jews to have Jewish pride, which usually includes wanting to be around Jews. But, as I understand it, Judaism is a minority religion by its terms. Half of our texts are about the Jews learning tough lessons from oppression - see Slavery in Egypt - or resisting oppressive majoritarian norms. Kosher laws, for example, prevent Jews from boiling a baby in its mothers milk because pagans in Judea at the time would do so. Some say that circumcision was originally a substitute for infant sacrifice, also at some point a normal practice in some places. So its hard for me to understand Judaism in a context where Jews are the majority, but I respect the common practice of Jews of showing solidarity with Judaism by living in majority Jewish areas.

I like Kosher Dillz because he's into being Jewish as a minority.

Plus, he can spit.

Ding Dong Ditched . . . By God: A Sign

It was a dark and stormy night. There was a ring at the bell. I went to answer it but there was no one there; only a string of burning bushes, producing no smoke and leaving no ash. They spelled out a message, ominously. It read:

Go forth. Have premarit-l sex with Sarah Pa-

And I couldn't make out the rest.

What could it mean? What are YOU tring to tell me?

God must own stock in...

I've decided to run with a theme that I began in a prior post about Sonic's Cinnamelts (RIP), and thus I am creating a series of posts entitled "God Must Own Stock In". Consider it sort of the products corner of Pork on Fridays. I'll try not to make too many of the posts about food.

For those of you who are blasphemy police, I'm not trying to indicate that God only inspires creations/inventions to personally profit off of them. Or that he even gives a crap about worldly dividends. I'm just making a joke about things that he likely had a direct role in inspiring. Or at least things he's dang proud of us for coming up with.

This week's installment: The Internet

No seriously, its flippin' miraculous. How many times a week (or day) do you utter "what did we do before the Internet?" I know I do quite frequently.

If you haven't ever pondered what life was like without it (those of you who can't remember a time when it didn't exist) or if you are having a hard time recalling, just think of all the night's you'd stay awake or the times you wouldn't be able to prove a friend wrong by being able to log on and find the answer to your burning question/issue.

Thus, to ease our troubled mind and to save trees, I'm pretty sure God inspired Al Gore to invent the Internet. (Its true, you can look it up online!)

God is everywhere; even in rental cars.

My friend Yusuf recently pulled a ligament in his finger playing kickball - don't worry, I already throughly mocked him for it. He didn't want to see a doctor about it (who would?), so he did the next best thing to self-dagnosing via WebMD -- he asked a friend who is a doctor. This friend was apparently able to diagnose Yusuf's pulled finger without any X-ray or MRI technology (seems suspect, eh?), and determined that exactly what Yusuf needed was a little metal/foam splint to keep his finger straight. And not the whole finger mind you. No, only the last joint neede to be splinted.

I am unclear as to the details and timeline for this middle part of the story, but at some point soon after this diagnosis and prescription, Yusuf rented a car. And can you believe what he found in that car...? He found a finger splint that holds the last joint in a finger straight. He immediately put it on and has been wearing it ever since, despite our friend Ho-Sung's fears that it may have been salvaged from raw sewage and cleaned up (but not enough to remove the grossness) before it was placed in the side panel of that rental car. Yusuf paid no attention; instead he marveled at his good fortune to have saved the $2.68 it would have cost to buy this split from the drug store.

Most of use would certainly have considered it coincidential at the least, and fortuitous at the most. But, when he told the story to his parents, Yusuf's mom, who tries to get him to be more spiritual, promptly and expectedly declared - "You see how God works?" Indeed, God is mighty - He's saves our souls AND mends our [fake] injuries.

Warning: This post contains reference to a non-traditional, new age philosophy!!! (Shield you eyes if you don't want to go to hell!)

Its happened. I've become one of those people who try to convert their friends. But, its not what you think. Besides my incessantly trying to get Ziek to like Kanye West's "Jesus Walks", which he claims is me trying to convert him, I'm not actively proselytizing my friends to Christianity. Rather, my new mission is to get my friends to buy in to a new age philosophy.

A few years ago, before I had cable, I was fortunate enough to watch Dr. Wayne Dyer present ideas from his book "The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way" on PBS. I'm going to spare you (for the moment) the details of his philosophy, but let me assure you it is based on thousands of years of Eastern philosophy (so it has some credibility) and it has not supplanted my faith in Christianity.

Rather, what his ecumenical ideas do is give me a practical way to live out my faith and make my life and others more positive and God-like. Let's face it, most religions have the same ideas - good trumps bad, right trumps wrong; happy trumps sad; harmony trumps self. What really bothers me about certain portions and members of my chosen religion is that they believe that what they've been taught, in the exact way they've been taught it, is the only way. I disagree.

When people only listen to what they've been taught and don't listen to what their heart says, they miss out on religious "ah ha" moments that can ensue. Religious xenophobia and protectionism have caused some portions of the Christian community to shun books like Dyer's and the ideas within. I think this sort of spiritual censorship is tragic, because some of these "new age" philosophies can help to put our core beliefs in a new light - to think about how to love one another and God in a new way.

For me, Dyer's philosophies do just that. They help me to have a daily road map for doing the right thing. I purchased an extra copy of "The Power of Intention" a while back, because there were so many times that I felt like I wanted to give it to someone.

I recently did give that book away, to one of my close friends. Her parents are Buddhist, her brother is Christian, and for most of her life, she was agnostic. She used to ask me about my religion and I would tell her about it in a non-pushy manner. And informative manner, which I think is the best way to share God. She never took to Christianity, and that has always been fine by me.

Recently, she has been exploring Buddhism, and for some reason I felt compelled to give her this book. Who knows...maybe it will help her see God (or Zen) more clearly. Or maybe it will just help her lead her life more simply and happily. Either way, if it affects her, I think God's purpose in inspiring Dyer to write the book will have been fulfilled.

Batman is Jesus (spoiler altert!)

You heard it here first, folks. Batman, as portrayed in the Dark Knight, is a Christ figure. Admittedly this kind of operates under the assumption that everyone who makes a sacrifice in a movie is a Christ figure. In the same way that people say: if something seems like its about sex, then it probably is. If someone could be a Christ figure, they probably are.

But let us examine the evidence more closely: First, Batman makes a sacrifice. He takes the blame for the murders committed by Harvey Dent (as Two Face) so that people can continue to see Harvey Dent as a hero. Sacrifice = first big step to Christ figure-dom.

Second, Batman's sacrifice makes him an anti-hero, hero. Third, he does this for the redemption of Gotham. He realizes that the important string of mafioso prosecutions started by Harvey Dent will not continue if people learn that Harvey Dent became Two Face and tried to murder an innocent family. So Batman takes the blame for the murders, making himself an outcast so that Gotham can redeem itself. Similarly, Jesus underwent prosecution, i.e. Crucifixation by the Roman authorities (or Jews if you're talking to Mel Gibson, et al) in order to redeem humanity. Jesus was shunned and turned upon by his disciples and Judea generally. Batman, in similar form, convinces Gordon, his close ally, to make him into a pariah. Granted, Jesus perhaps did not specifically ask his disciples to betray him, but, in the Last Supper, he did acknowledge that the betrayal was a necessary step in achieving humanity's salvation.

Oh, and Gotham represents humanity. I think the movie pulls few punches about this. The mafiosos might represent the Pharisees, but that's a stretch, and it doesn't really pan out.

The Joker is the Devil. In the same way that Jesus is forced to stare Satan in the face and resist his temptation, remaining sinless, Batman is at times tempted by the Joker's id-filled lure. The Joker almost convinces Batman in the interrogation room that he should join the dark side because society views him as expendable. Then Batman, somewhat in contrast to Jesus, starts bashing the Joker's head against glass.

Parallel to Christ turning over the tables in the temple perhaps? Perhaps not.

That may be discussed in Batman is Jesus II: Cruise Control.

At the end of the day, Batman isn't just a Christ figure because he makes a sacrifice, but more specifically because he lets himself become a pariah for the redemption of humanity (as played by Gotham City).

Flyentology

You want to hear some awesome hip-hop and question faith at the same time? Check this shit out (Flyentology by El-P, featuring Trent Reznor). No matter what you think of the music, the video is genius - done by the animators at Adult Swim.

Let me know what you think the video is trying to say. I think the video is criticizing religious institutions for exploiting people's desperate situations to gain followers. Please, please let me know what you think.

It's some deep shit. I do know that.

Religulous

When should be considered offensive to criticize God? Tough to say. Some people would say, always, God is perfect and holy and who the fuck are we? Some people would say never, The Big Guy probably doesn't exist anyway; criticism is giving God more credit than he even deserves.

Another related, but more seldomly asked question: When is it offensive to be offended by someone criticizing God? I am excited about Bill Maher's new documentary, Religulous, as it may raise some of these questions. Plus Bill Maher is hilarity.

In our politically correct day and age, it is generally assumed that one should air well on the side of not criticizing God, as such supposed blasphemy may offend people. Many will likely condemn Religulous to hell for taking what appears from the preview to be a critical or even downright mocking view of religion. I wonder though, what is more offensive, Religulous, or offense taken to Religulous?

I think two main factors will determine the answer. First: is Religulous mocking a personal God or a political God? If Religulous is simply mocking people for believing in God, calling people that like God crazy, or even jeering people who speak in tongues, whirling dervish, or other seemingly bizarre, but benevolent practices, then Religulous should be called out as offensive. Making religious people the but of a joke because their practices may seem odd to the outsider is nothing short of intolerant. On the other hand, if the beliefs that Maher lambasts are beliefs that implicate people besides the believer, then Bill gets free reign to say what he wants. In other words, if someone believes in a God that might put Bill Maher in hell, then Bill has a right to mock this God because its apparently Bill's God too whether Bill likes it or not. People don't get to have intolerant views cloaked in religious rhetoric and then scream 'religious intolerance' when someone punches back.

The bigger question: does Bill Maher believe in God? If Bill believes in God and he is criticizing his own God, as far as I'm concerned, he's off the hook. In one blog, I called God a 'strange motherfucker' because I jokingly believed God's grace made me drink Fresca. In my relationship with God, I can jokingly call God a motherfucker. You're offended? Tough shit. You're beliefs about God don't get to subsume my relationship with God. On the other hand, if Bill doesn't believe in God or doesn't believe in the God he is criticizing, then his criticism should be looked at more closely. Again, if Bill is just making fun of people, not cool. But if he's making fun of people because they're religious beliefs are fucking up the world, then Bill, go nuts.

I'm sick of people using 'religious tolerance' as a shield for religiously inspired intolerance, and I'm sick of people using 'satire' and 'humor' as an excuse for offensive cheap laughs. Which side of this line will the movie fall? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

You Killed My Father, Prepare to Die

Yesterday I attended a celebration of Israel's 60th Anniversary on the National Mall. As I walked to the event, I saw some cars driving by with signs on their windows reading: Celebrating Israel is Celebrating the Destruction of the Palestinian People. Maybe so, maybe not. But what these signs should have said is: Celebrating Israel is Celebrating Inigo Montoya!

That's right, Inigo Mon-fucking-Toya. The event was hosted by the one and only Mandy Patinkin, and, omg, he said THE LINE. And I had a killer orgasm.

Also, fyi, my uncle played baseball with him in grade school. So how do you like them apples?

Get Over the God-o-Meter

I usually like Beliefnet.com, but I don't like this: The God-o-Meter, which runs on Beliefnet. The God-o-Meter basically tracks how religious various presidential candidates are, ranking them in oddly contrived categories from 'Secularist' to 'Theocrat' and posting articles about the candidates' religious outreach efforts.

The God-o-Meter is obviously a small symptom of a more serious disease: Our country is obsessed with how religious our politicians are. Any one who had the unfortunate privilege of watching the Compassion Forum, knows this all too well. At the Compassion Forum, Hilary and Barack sparred over who had talked to God the most times, who could say Christ more, who was the saved-est, etc. It was an unfortunate event, because it had less to do with their political merits than there appeals to popular religious sentiment.

The problem with this preoccupation is that there is simply no hard-and-fast correlation between being a religious person and being a good leader. Otherwise put, a secularist might be more Christ-like than a self-proclaimed devout Christian. Afterall, Minister Jim Haggard fucked boy prostitutes and free based meth, while Warren Buffet is one of the world's biggest philanthropists and is an atheist/agnostic.

Also, does all this scrutinizing of our leaders' religious beliefs really leave any room open for religious minorities? I don't think so. What would Joe Lieberman talk about at the Compassion Forum - how he doesn't believe in Christ but sure likes Passover? I'm sure that would bode well.

I definitely have an affinity for religious folk in some contexts. For example, I'd like a wife who will encourage our child to have a bar/bar mitzvah. But as far as my president, boss, mailman, or illegal lumber dealer goes, i just want them to be good at their job.

Ghost (cue Unchained Melody)

Now that we are about a week into Pentecost, I thought it was fine time to give my props to the Holy Spirit. The Trinity - Father, Son, and Holy Ghost - is one of the biggest mysteries of the Christian faith, but I like to think of it like a family. A family is one unit, but it's made up of several intergral parts.

The Father is like the breadwinner of the family, be it the dad or the mom. The breadwinner likely "runs the show" at home, because of his/her financial stake in the family. The breadwinner is also more absent, distant.

The Son is like the stay-at-home parent. The parent that stays at home is a representative of the breadwinner, like Jesus was a representative of God, the Father. The stay-at-home parent is the bridge between the rules of the breadwinner and us children (humans) that are always messing it all up. The one that puts his/her arm around us as says, "trust me, I'll take care of you."

But the Holy Ghost. Well, that's where the mystery comes in. What role does it have? I could make jokes about how the Holy Ghost is the crazy, fun uncle of the family, but that doesn't really fit.

I think the Holy Ghost is like the love of the family. Think about it. The Holy Ghost is supposed to be the spirit of God, the part that changes our hearts, that moves us. And that is exactly what love in a family is. No matter how strong or weak a relationship between children and parent(s) is, love within a family has a strange, overriding power to move us. What else explains how families can fight like crazy, but still love each other at the end of the day? How we put up with stuff from our family members that we would dare let friends get away with?

The Holy Ghost is my favorite of the Holy Trinity. It is the one that I feel closest to, because even when I'm not praying regularly or feeling particularly in tune with God, the Holy Spirit will come knocking on my heart's door and say "just checking in." And in a way, I think the Holy Ghost is God's gift of free-will at its finest. By talking to us through our hearts/conscious, the Holy Ghost is saying "This is what I want you to do, but I'm not going to force it on you, I'm just putting it out there." Then it's our choice to follow that instinct, or to ignore it. And usually, that tingle in my conscious is saying "Love that person" in one way or another. Either by suggesting I be nicer to someone, or to include them, or to make them feel special, or to stop thinking bad thoughts about them.

Yeah, the Holy Spirit is a badass. Sure, It doesn't get as much glory - It didn't create the world; It didn't come to the world in himan form and sacrifice Itself for everyone. But, Its the one that gets to take all of the love that God created for the world (abundant, infinate love) and deliver it to all of us. At the end of the day, that's a pretty great job for 1/3 of a Diety.

Don't Make Me Hate God, You Gay-Bashing Bigots!

Props to the conservative California Supreme Court for putting politics aside and legalizing gay marriage! Nothing more refreshing than a long sip of Sanity.

Of course, the Court has its critics. Many many critics. Many many critics who prefer to drink Gayhateorade, instead of the more refreshing Sanity. These critics hate two things: 1. Reason; and 2. God. Well, fine, they also hate gay people, but that seems to go without saying.

Rob Dreher, in his post on Crunchy Con, provides us with a stunning demonstration of how these critics hate reason. Dreher, using the good old institution-of-marriage argument, says that just because it cannot be shown that dude-dude or chick-chick marriage hurts dude-chick marriage does not mean that institution of marriage argument loses any force. States Mr. Dreher:

I think the most common, and superficially common-sensical, questions that comes up in discussions of this issue is, "How does Jill and Jane's marriage hurt Jack and Diane's?" The idea is that unless you can demonstrate that a gay marriage directly harms traditional marriage, there is no rational objection to gay marriage.
But this is a shallow way to look at it. We all share the same moral ecology. You may as well ask why it should have mattered to the people of Amherst, Mass., if some rich white people in Charleston, SC, owned slaves. Don't believe in slavery? Don't buy one. Similarly, why should it matter to the people of Manhattan if the people of Topeka wish to forbid a woman there to have an abortion? Or, conversely, why do the people of Topeka care if women in New York City choose to abort their unborn children? Don't believe in abortion? Don't have one.

Ok, Mr. Dreher, its true; the argument: if you don't like slavery don't buy one or if you don't like abortion don't have one or if you don't like polygamist rape cults don't join one is not satisfying. But guess what else: none of these arguments are predicated on an invalidatable claim like gay marriage hurts straight marriage. Slavery is bad because its dehumanizing - that seems verified. If abortion is bad, its cuz its murder. Polygamist rape cults are bad because they're rape cults. On the other hand, Mr. Dreher argues that gay marriage is bad because it hurts straight marriage but acknowledges that there is no proof that gay marriage does hurt straight marriage. Thus, unlike with slavery and polygamist rape cults, the arguments against gay marriage have no backing - thus giving credence to the statement Mr. Dreher fallaciously rejects: if you don't want a gay marriage, Rob, don't marry a dude.

Oh yeah, the second thing that critics of gay marriage hate: God. These folks make God out to be a real bastard; the kind of bastard that doesn't want people who have spent their whole lives together to get special privileges to see each other in the hospital; the kind of bastard that would rather kids stay in an under-resourced foster care system than be raised by a loving dude-dude or chick-chick couple.

Or maybe its that these critics love the wrong God. Put otherwise, maybe its me who hates God. Maybe God is a real bastard towards gay-folk. In that case, I'm not sure how down with God I am. Judaism is based on a covenant with God; that means that there was a reciprocal agreement between Abraham and God to enter into a unique relation. Abraham could have chosen to remain pagan, but instead chose to engage with God. But, look, if God is that much of a prick, I'd rather opt out. My faith is not unconditional, nor should it have to be. To me, faith means that I can suspend reason and the need for verification in order to become inspired by something transcendent, not that I suspend reason to give into something lower. A philosopher once said that God is projection of the best parts of humanity, but to Mr. Dreher and his fans, God becomes a projection of human bigotry. If that's what God is actually like, then no thanks.

But if God is the kind of god who does things like free the slaves from oppression in Egypt, then I'm in. This God endows me with hope, not prejudiced cynicism.

The long and short of it is: Gay-marriage-bashers, stop trying to make me hate God.

Marketing religion

I was listening to a segment on my local NPR affiliate yesterday (don't act surprised that I listen to NPR) and the guest was Mara Einstein, the author of Brands of Faith: Marketing Religion in a Commercial Age. She talked about the ways religion has been marketed in the past and, particularly, how religion is marketed in the our modern world. She made reference to the sale of religious products (e.g. how you are forced to walk through the "book store" to enter any Kabbalah center), branding (e.g. the myth about how mega-church preacher Joel Osteen swears he didn't want to become a rock star preacher, but only did it because it was his father's dying wish), and about how some groups dumb down religion to draw people in to buy products/services that might make them feel better, but don't require any commitment from people.

I agree with the fact that religion must change with the times and find ways to appeal to new/young audiences to survive. I think a lot of why people try to "convert" or recruit people to their church/religion/faith is so that their ways of worship and religious institutions don't die. But, there is a limit - and some of these practices go over the line. For example, the Kabbalah Centre (which teaches a faith that is only very mildly similar to the actual faith of Kabbalah) holds Seders and services for special occasions at expensive hotels, and charges exorbinant rates, that likely include a profit. The "Church" of Scientology requires that members pay money to achieve rank-like levels within the organization (You have to give a hand to Scientology though. At least their website looks legit...the other religious websites linked are all full of ads for stuff you can buy.) Additionally, most (if not all) televangelists are loaded (what ever happened to the Christianly vow of poverty for church leaders???).

These examples make it pretty clear that when profit is involved (or large profit-like salaries for church leaders), the religion has crossed the line. Having participated in several legitimate religions/denominations, my impression of a church's outreach is a "we're here to serve you" mentality, not "come pay us for something that you haven't even fully bought into yet." Usually, anything that the church offers is free, or at the most with a "suggested" donation (e.g. the monthly devotional brochures that you could pick up at the back of my church could be ordered by subscription, but if you wanted them for free, you could just keep coming to church every month,) Heck, the non-denomination, young, chic church I attended for a while made a disclaimer every week before passing the collection plate "this is only for those who call this church their home. If you are just visiting or trying us out, we don't want your money!"

Ultimately, by taking a "hit" on some of these services (coffee before service, devotional pamphlets, etc.) legitimate religious organizations are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing - using their monetary resources to spread the word about God and what he's all about. By selling these services, whether it be a fancy Shabbat dinner, books, or bottled water (that I guarantee is Detroit tap water), the church is telling its followers that God is for sale. Only those who can afford Him get to experience Him.

Me thinks these religious organizations stink a little of humanism, and not divinity. Incidentally, read this fun web page entitled "How Cults Work."

Do the Wright Thing

So if you search 'Jeremiah Wright' on YouTube, you get a bunch of videos of Wright's most incendiary sermons with bizarre neurotic commentary scrolling across the screen, criticizing Wright's views. One video says Wright should not be considered an American. The video linked above, ends by leaving the viewer with this question: 'Black Liberation Theology? or just revived Black Supremacy?' Profound, huh?

Now what the fuck is 'black supremacy?' According to this poster, it's speaking critically about race relations in America.

The funny thing is: would this poster going after Jeremiah Wright really feel better if Jeremiah Wright was preaching 'liberation theology' as opposed to 'revived Black Supremacy?' Are the bigots out there who go around calling black preachers 'black supremacists' really cool with militancy as long as it only rises to the level of 'liberation theology?' Seems unlikely. At the end of the day, whoever posted this probably doesn't like black people who talk about being black.

This is not to say that I agree with everything that Wright says. The poster points out, albeit smugly, that Wright was probably wrong, for example, about saying that Jesus was a 'black man.' Jesus was probably not black. Though, also probably to this poster's dismay, Jesus was probably not white. And certainly wasn't Aryan. He probably looked like, I don't know, a middle Easter Jew.

Fine, so Wright's not perfect. But there's nothing wrong with Wright's anger. Are country does have a history steeped in racism that anyone who truly loves this country should want acknowledge and improve upon. If, on the other hand, every time someone starts to speak about white racism he is himself labelled a racist, then our racial dialogue will consist entirely of white folks talking to white folks about black folks. That doesn't hold much promise.

Don't know which religion you are? Take a simple quiz to find out!

I just the Belief System Selector quiz with surprising results. I was pretty skeptical of it, because it only had 20 questions with about 5 answers per question and many of the answers seemed to be clearly leading to one particular religion or another. I mean, how can a computer figure out the essence of my internal soul with so few data fields?

There were several questions where I felt that my answer diverged from Christianity - I didn't answer the typical "Jesus is the way to heaven" type answer. I thought for sure that the computer was going to think I was Taoist (I only identified 72% with Taoism). An yet...my top 3 matches were:

#3 - Unitarian Universalism (90% compatibility)
#2 - Liberal Quakers (97% compatibility)

and...

#1 - Liberal Christian Protestant (100%)

Is my belief system so obvious? Have I been indoctrinated? Do I think I'm a free-minded person when really I'm just buying into a pre-established belief system? Well, being a self-proclaimed free-thinker, I prefer to analyze my results in a different way. The miscellany of [Liberal] Christianity.

Editors note to those who want to take the quiz for themselves: It will try to make you think you have to register at the end of it to get your results, but if you click on "Click HERE to go directly to your results" in the yellow bar at the top of the screen, you can bypass all of the solicitations. Have fun!

According to SelectSmart.com's Spiritual Belief Systems quiz, my #1 belief match is LIBERAL CHRISTIAN. What do you believe? Visit SelectSmart.com/RELIGION

Hasta La Vista, Baby Jesus

Check out this totes awesome combination of The Terminator and the story of Jesus on YouTube. The great thing is that, like other potentially-offensive-though-not-offensive uses of the Jesus story in pop culture, like The Last Temptation of Christ, this parody is partly so awesome because it can be enjoyed so guiltlessly. While there maybe some controversial images, ultimately, nothing in the video makes any kind of slight or joke about Jesus or Christianity. So enjoy sans guilt!

The Problem of Evil

There is a really interesting discussion on Beliefnet today about the problem of evil. The problem of evil is: how can we reconcile the belief in an all powerful, all knowing, and good god with the fact that there is so much evil and suffering in the world? The discussion was prompted largely by the natural disasters which left thousands dead in Burma recently.

I think its a incredibly tough question and one that is impossible to reconcile, as attempts to reconcile are pretty unsatisfying

It is first of all easy to try to attribute a 'greater purpose' to the violence in the world. Maybe God is trying to teach us something or accomplish something with all this evil. But this just begs the question. If God is really all powerful and good, can't God accomplish things in a better way than through evil. It's hard to imagine that God was thinking, "how do I teach the world a lesson?" and the most efficient answer he could come up with was "the Holocaust" or "a devastating cyclone" or "AIDS babies." Or something. If God is so powerful, God can think up better ways to teach the world.

'Free will' also has some appeal as an answer to the problem of evil. In some sense, this answer sthe problem pretty well. Afterall, if even omnipotence is limited such that God cannot create a rock that God cannot pick up, then maybe God also cannot give people free will but stop them from making bad choices. Still, 'free will' doesn't really cut it. First, even if God gave us free will, God didn't give us infinite capacities. We may have free will, but we don't have the free will to fly or to grow 100 feet tall, or to mind read, or to make Jason Mraz music palatable. We only have free will within our capacities. Maybe God should have not given us so much capacity to be evil. Also, even if God gave us free will, there is no reason God can't intervene to stop our use of free will. If America can intervene to stop that Nazi's, surely God can also intervene to stop the Nazi's. If this seems silly, maybe what really seems silly is the idea of a literally all powerful being.

A third possibility, which I find the most troubling, is just to surrender to the mystery of God. This is kind of the lesson of Job. Who are we to understand God anyway? But, if we really can't understand God in even basic ways, then what does it mean to say God is 'all powerful' or 'good?' If we say 'God is good' and then God seems to let something bad happen and we say 'God is still good, but only a mysterious kind of good,' then we are really just saying, 'God is by defnition good' and that is a tautology. Plus, where's the mystery about whether its okay to let thousands or millions of people die if you can stop it? Seems an easy question to me, and I'm not even all-knowing.

At the end of the day, there is no way to reconcile how God can be all powerful, etc, and allow evil to happen. Fortunately, we don't really need God to be all powerful, all knowing, etc anymore. We can explain lots of things and solve lots of problems without appealing to God. But a lot of people do need their relationship with God. It is a unique relationship for a lot of people, myself included. Maybe this isn't a relationship with an all-powerful God.

Or even an entirely good God; hell, the Bible if full of people criticizing God. Abraham gets in an argument with God about Sodom and Gemmorrah and wins!

But some of us need god for is the unique relationship (some of us find that unique fullfillment in other equally valid ways) and that relationship maintains itself despite all the evil.

Loving against all odds

Two days after I took my Constitutional Law II (Equal Protection) final, Mildred Loving, a lesser-known icon of the Civil Rights Movement passed away. Mildred (a black woman) and her husband Richard (a white man) are famous for fighting for their right to marry each other. They fought all the way to the Supreme Court, which struck down miscegenation laws as unconstitutional in 1967's Loving v. Virgina.

The story of the Loving's courage to fight for what they believed in is inspiring. But one of the most poignant parts of their story is to hear what life was really like back then. When they were being sentenced for violating VA's Racial Integrity Act (for being married and of different races), Judge Leon M. Bazile said to them:

"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, Malay and red, and He
placed them on separate continents," Bazile said. " The fact that He
separated the races shows that He did not intend for the races to mix."

It makes me feel lucky to live in this day and age, and not that one. But it also makes me realize how far we, as a society, have yet to go before we stop blaming our irrational prejudices on God. God does not cause us to hate. On the contrary, he gave us love, unlimited amounts of it. We're the ones who are using love as a weapon against those we hate.

I had never heard about Loving v. Virgina before I came to law school, but I have a feeling that it is going to become more an more commonly known as the gay civil rights movement gains momentum. Contrary to Judge Bazile's opinion, I think that if God didn't want us to be equal and to love each other, then he wouldn't have made us and put us here in the first place. To use an old expression: God don't make no junk.

RIP: Mildred Loving (1939-2008)

Divine Fast Food

A few weeks ago, as a treat for living through the Illinois Earthquake of 2008, I treated myself to Sonic's Cinnasnacks for breakfast. Eating their delicious, fried, cinnamoney goodness served to confirm a suspicion I've always had - that God owns stock in Sonic.

But today, when I discovered that Cinnasnacks are gone, I realized I had been tricked by Beelzebub. Or maybe he's the CEO of Sonic.

Divine Justice

In Biblical times, God brought the Sodomites to justice for their repugnant behavior. As it is written in 2 Peter 2:6. ". . . and turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, [God] condemned them to destruction, making them an example to those who afterward would live ungodly . . ."

Similarly: Today I tried to get "It's a Small World Afterall" stuck in someone else's head and now I have it stuck in my own head.

Even in this chaotic modern world, Divine Justice reigns supreme.

Totally Redeemed!!!

On the other hand, check on this totes Reagan-hottie on Mr. Kupelian's cite (see post below if you don't know what I'm talking about). Totally redeemed!!!

Bad Sins Like Body Piercing

It's election year, so religion and morality are big talk these days. There's some good talk. And then there are people who think that the election of a democrat will usher in the Last Days (in a bad way!!!). Doomsayers like this. To Mr. Kupelian and his probably numerous followers, liberalism is synonymous with sin.

But what sins? The best sins.

Mr. Kupelian lists the following, amongst others: homosexuality, tattoos, mainstream transsexualism, body-piercing, witchcraft, abortion.

Lets play make-believe for a minute and pretend that Mr. Kupelian's judgments are dead-on. God actually is pissed off by body piercing and homosexuality and God is right to be pissed off by these things. Here's what I still don't get: why are these conservative folks so bent out of shape about these "hedonistic" sins in particular?

Even if it is a sin to be gay, being gay can't be the worst sin. Even if you really hate the shit out of gayness, there's gotta be sins worse. No matter how much your religion hates gay sex, it must hate murder more. There's no two ways about it.

On the other hand, maybe the Mr. Kupelians of the world focus on gay-love and not murder because everyone already knows murder is wrong, but people are beginning to condone homosexuality. After all, 2% of our states (i.e., just Massachusetts) allows gay people to visit their partners after hours in the hospital. Maybe that is why such a disproportionate amount of lip-service is given to some sins that can't be the worst sins.

Still, there are tons of other sins that must be worse than homosexuality, that are given very little attention. There is a lot of discussion about why gays shouldn't be so goshdarn gay, but when was the last time you read one of these conservative-types railing against, I don't know, sex trafficking. Even if being gay is bad, dealing in sex slaves must be worser, right? But Mr. Kupelian probably doesn't write much about that. It's not even in one of his polemical sin-lists.

Some things Conservatives think are sins I can understand getting really bent out of shape about. If you really think abortion is murder, then it makes sense to get up in arms about Roe v. Wade.

But its hard to imagine that homosexuality, not to mention body piercing and tattoos, are up there with the worst.

Now, witchcraft, on the other hand, that's some scary shit.

God and Proactiv have a lot in common

As a practicing Christian, I find myself cringing fairly often at much of what gets attributed to God. One of the top things I think Christians get wrong most often is the whole "Great Commission." ("Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." Matthew 28: 19-20)

This is exemplified in ways we've all heard about: Jehovah's Witnesses/Mormons going door-to-door, Jews for Jesus handing out fliers at the Metro stations (which really pisses off my Jewish office-mate), and one of my favorites - Campus Crusade for Christ college students trying to convert people on Panama City beach during spring break. (See above picture of people exercising their freedom of [hate] speech on the National Mall on Independence Day.)


Not only are these attempts at "conversion" [cringe] by total strangers not effective (its like the telemarketing of the Divine), but they seem to tippify the activity that I feel like Christians do better than almost anyone else -- try to make themselves feel like they are better than everyone else. I mean after all, if you are painstakingly serving God during spring break while everyone else is scantily clad, drinking beers, and indulging in general hedonism, then you MUST be further ahead in the line into heaven right? There seems to be an implicit air of paternal judgment in those interactions. (Incidentally, in my opinion judging each other is the thing Christians do most often to displease God. There are MANY verses telling us not to judge each other. e.g. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37. I mean...dang...its pretty clearly a no-no.)

I struggle with the Great Commission, because I don't think everyone needs to be Christian, and I don't want to convert everyone. I don't want to get into all of it now, but I believe we all - even atheists - are "chosen ones". I think God finds the way that he knows will best speak to each of us, and he uses that method to say "Hey what's up...make sure you're treating each other well." I'll write more on my hippie theology later. The point I want to make now is that I'm fairly sure that when God was creating ways to help others reconnect with him (think: spiritual control-alt-delete), ambush-style proselytizing got crumbled up and thrown at the garbage Michael Jordan jump-shot style like all the other bad ideas. That being said, I have had a few instances where a friend wanted to know about my religion and how it affects me and why I do it and so on. In these circumstances, I do think it is important to be honest and share. Who knows, maybe this person is trying to reboot spiritually and needs some help.

So, this past summer while in the shower (where all my best philosophy comes from), I came to a brilliant realization that made it all very clear -- God is like Proactiv. Other than the fact that Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson love it, Proactiv is God-like in its miraculous powers. But you don't just go and tell your roommate that she needs Proactiv. Your suggestion implies a judgment that she has bad skin. You just use it. You let her see that you use it. In casual conversation you mention that you are an avid user. And eventually, she might grow more curious. She might ask you questions about it. You might mention how she can order it. Eventually, she might try the 60-day free trial for herself. Maybe it will work for her.

Maybe she won't be interested, and that's fine. You have to respect that. Maybe she really believes in the powers of Neutrogena skin-care products. Maybe she's using special herbal supplements to try to zap her zits. Maybe she doesn't really care, because she's happy with herself just as she is. Cool.

But one thing's for sure, she's not going to be interested in anything you have to offer if you insult her or silently condemn her complexion.

No judgment. No pressure. I just think that's how God wants people to find Him...and our skin care regimes.

The God of Fresca or Just Fresca?

Whenever I get fast food, I drink Coke or Pepsi. Why then, today, if not by the grace of God, did I drink Orange Fresca at Subway? Was it the God looking down on me, knowing that Coke would leave me feeling bloated and that only Orange Fresca could wash down the garden patty? Or am I reversing the causality: Was the Orange Fresca so refrescaing that I felt a near-religious serenity with each sip, and thus associated God with the entire experience?

Or possibly, God has abandoned us and we are left naked and alone in this infinite and chaotic universe. There is no rhyme or reason to what pop we choose to drink at any given moment.

Or is God present everywhere, such that when I thought it was Fresca alone washing down my meal, it was Fresca with an extra-ingredient of 'God' syrup?

Or did the Fresca transubstantiate into the fizzing body of God's only son as a drank it down?

That motherfucker works in mysterious ways and I sound stoned out of my gord.

Religious cinematic experiences

So, it's official...The Hobbit (the movie) is on its way. I'm so excited.

Even though The Hobbit doesn't have nearly as much religious undertones as its successor, The Lord of the Rings, its a great story. And more importantly, its the story that sets the stage for LOTR. Apparently, New Line is making two films - one that will be a stright-up version of The Hobbit, and another that clues us in to the 60-year gap between when Bilbo returns from his big journey, until his 111th birthday, when LOTR starts. Wow...I can't wait!

I fully admit my obsession with LOTR is geeky. But, I don't care. I'm sure I'll write more about it in other posts, but I think why I love it so much is that it really speaks to my inner faith. It's undeniable that Tolkien's Christianity was a big influence on his narrative style, and indeed his imagination. For those who also love LOTR and want to really to take it to the next level, read The Silmarillion, which is the mythology behind LOTR. Its first part is a creation story that is inspired, to say the least.

Good Ole' Catholic Guilt......wait...I'm not Catholic!

I don't think you have to be Catholic (or Christian for that matter) to feel guilt over your religious short-comings. I mean, disappointing your parents is one thing. They can ground you or yell at you...no biggie eh? But disappointing the Almighty is a whole other deal. Who knows what S/He is going to do to you - make your life miserable, withhold eternal life, forgive you, etc.

For me, right now, it's about skipping church in favor of studying for finals. Sometimes I try to convince myself to go to during the two hell weeks of 8-10 studying by thinking, "If I please Him, it will surely be better for my grades." But that's not how it works, is it? It's not a tit for tat system...I mean this isn't Karma people!

I end up rationalizing it by thinking about all the other things I've done to disappoint him, and how this must be a drop in the bucket compared to that. I mean, studying for finals is a somewhat noble cause, right? Skipping church every Sunday after a late Saturday night isn't. Add that to all the other sins that I pull during the week, and I'm sure the Big Guy understands.

I mean, What Would Jesus Do if he were in law school? I think He'd study for finals. But, obviously He wouldn't need to study, since He's God. But, He'd do it anyway, so to not be a show-off. Pride is a sin after all.

I, on the other hand, desperately need to study. So...here's to trying to shed the guilt. (I'll make it up to Him by doing a lot of pro-bono once I'm a lawyer.)