Religious cinematic experiences

So, it's official...The Hobbit (the movie) is on its way. I'm so excited.

Even though The Hobbit doesn't have nearly as much religious undertones as its successor, The Lord of the Rings, its a great story. And more importantly, its the story that sets the stage for LOTR. Apparently, New Line is making two films - one that will be a stright-up version of The Hobbit, and another that clues us in to the 60-year gap between when Bilbo returns from his big journey, until his 111th birthday, when LOTR starts. Wow...I can't wait!

I fully admit my obsession with LOTR is geeky. But, I don't care. I'm sure I'll write more about it in other posts, but I think why I love it so much is that it really speaks to my inner faith. It's undeniable that Tolkien's Christianity was a big influence on his narrative style, and indeed his imagination. For those who also love LOTR and want to really to take it to the next level, read The Silmarillion, which is the mythology behind LOTR. Its first part is a creation story that is inspired, to say the least.

Good Ole' Catholic Guilt......wait...I'm not Catholic!

I don't think you have to be Catholic (or Christian for that matter) to feel guilt over your religious short-comings. I mean, disappointing your parents is one thing. They can ground you or yell at you...no biggie eh? But disappointing the Almighty is a whole other deal. Who knows what S/He is going to do to you - make your life miserable, withhold eternal life, forgive you, etc.

For me, right now, it's about skipping church in favor of studying for finals. Sometimes I try to convince myself to go to during the two hell weeks of 8-10 studying by thinking, "If I please Him, it will surely be better for my grades." But that's not how it works, is it? It's not a tit for tat system...I mean this isn't Karma people!

I end up rationalizing it by thinking about all the other things I've done to disappoint him, and how this must be a drop in the bucket compared to that. I mean, studying for finals is a somewhat noble cause, right? Skipping church every Sunday after a late Saturday night isn't. Add that to all the other sins that I pull during the week, and I'm sure the Big Guy understands.

I mean, What Would Jesus Do if he were in law school? I think He'd study for finals. But, obviously He wouldn't need to study, since He's God. But, He'd do it anyway, so to not be a show-off. Pride is a sin after all.

I, on the other hand, desperately need to study. So...here's to trying to shed the guilt. (I'll make it up to Him by doing a lot of pro-bono once I'm a lawyer.)

Don't Passover this Entry Get it?

It's Passover! At my best friend's Seder we sing this song, taken from a pre-school Haggadah: Pesach, Pesach, Pesach time is here! Pesach, pesach, pesach time is here! Bring your Matzah and your wine we shall drink and we will dine. Pesach, pesach, pesach time is here! Who's heart is a little bit warmed? Show of hands. What?, you ask, pre-schoolers singing about drinking wine? "That's right," I answer, "that's how Jews fuckin' roll. Holler for the Tribe."

But for those of you who may not know, Passover involves more than just toddlers getting shit-faced. Passover is the holiday that celebrates the Jews being liberated from Egyptian slavery. Jews celebrate the only way we know how - by not eating any grain for 8 days. (If you think that's fun, you should see our New Year's celebration . . . we talk about our sins AND what way different people are going to die! and then sing Aude Lang Sine, or as we call it chchchchchchch; jk, man, jk.)

Like my relationship with myself and the Lost series, I have a love hate relationship with Passover.

In many ways its my favorite Jewish Holiday:

1. Sly and the whole extended Family Stone share a nice meal together - this meal Jews eat together on Passover is called a Seder. I go to two Seders. One at my oldest friends and one at grandparents. The seder is long and hunger-pagn inducing, but is also chocked with:

2. Bleeding Heart Liberalism: Freeing oppressed people from slavery and mourning the death of your oppressors. How can Noam Chomsky turn his back on us with shit like that in our prayers. Honestly. The long tedious Seder is also awesomely filled with . . .

3. (this third good thing about Passover must be solved via riddle) What do you get when you put two piers together? A pair-a-docks! Get it, a paradox? Passover is filled with fascinating theological questions . . . such as.... why did God let the Jews suffer in slavery for 400 years without freeing them? Why did God not let Moses proceed into Israel with the rest of the Tribe merely because he tapped a water for rock against God's command? Why did God not want Charleton Heston to tap the rock in the first place? Here's a doosey: Passover refers to the Jews putting lambs blood on their door ways so God, as the final plague, would know what houses to Pass Over while carrying out the last plague of killing the first-born-son of every Egyptian after the Egyptian Pharoah refused to free the Jews. Should Jews put blood on the doors of good-guy Egyptians? Also, God, wtf - killing the first born? That is just so paleo-pagan.

I also dislike some parts of passover:

1. There's nothing to eat. We can't eat any grain for 8 days. Plus, I'm a vegetarian. So there's nothing to eat - except Matzah. I'm not sure how to explain Matzah except that its the worst part of crackers. Think of crackers. Think of what makes crackers good. Then take that away. What you have left is Matzah! Oh also,

2. There's nothing to fucking eat! I broke the rules for the first time yesterday by drinking a Sprite. But sprite wasn't invented until AD? You ask. True, but corn is a grain according the Jews and Sprite has high fructose corn syrup. Plus, Moses was strictly a mana and water guy.

Anyway, there's the DL on Passover. Tune in again for more puns (see parachute, paraguay, ...i don't even know her, etc.)

Shaken and stirred

There are many times that I curse the fact that I'm a very light sleeper, but last Friday, my curse became a blessing - the great Illinois earthquake of 2008. There was a short rumble, which woke me up, followed by the big one. It was about 10-20 seconds long and ended up measuring 5.2 on the Richter scale. Because I was awake, I got to relish every exhilarating moment of it.

Now, for those of us from the Midwest, this is not common. Because of this fact, the quake was not only a cool thing to be awake for, but also a bit of a religious experience. The past several days, I've found myself trying to relive that moment. How I felt. What I thought about. And each time (if I can muster up a vivid memory) it gives me the same sensation - a feeling of simultaneous insignificance and connectivity.

Feeling the ground move, it makes you realize how big the world is. Even that which is solid and fixed is capable of shifting. It's humbling, to say the least. At the same time, I couldn't get over how my friends back in Chicago (2 hours away) had felt the same thing. When I drove to school that day, I noted how everything that I drove by - the trees, the fields, the Arbys - they all shook too. Where ever I went that day, strangers were excitedly talking about it. We all, no matter how different we were, felt the same thing. How often in life to we get a chance to have that kind of connection with everyone we see?

For me, that feeling of insignificance and connectivity simply reaffirms and makes visceral my faith. It makes me feel as though the Big Guy was trying to say "Hey, you...you're not all that. Remember me? I'm in control. Oh, and BTW, here's some free adrenaline...you don't even have to do anything sinful to get it."